By Guest Blogger Teresa Tarrant
Editor’s Note: Please welcome one of my precious role models, Teresa Tarrant, to “Pure Inspiration” as the first Guest Blogger. She is an inspiration to me and infinite others. May her story, their story, touch your heart as it did mine.
God is everywhere.
I have known this since I was a little girl in Sunday School, as a college student in chapel, as a wife at church, and as a mother reading Bible stories to my children. What I didn’t realize was…it is so wonderfully and lovingly true.
It became an undeniable fact and reality for me in the year 2000, the year the world was going to come to an end, all the computers were predicted to crash and my marriage was in crisis. My husband Guy and I had been married at that time for 28 years…by the grace of God. We went through every stage of marriage in some form of heightened emotion…riding the waves of “good times” and “bad times.” It was more difficult for my husband to do this because he does not like “heightened emotion.”
I, on the hand, did not know much else. I knew I did not like this state of being. At the same time, it was the only way I got any “real” response from my husband. Through the years a pattern developed. My husband would resort to withdrawing when confrontation ensued…I would go at it with all I had to find some closure to a problem. I would finally get quiet and sad and eventually just let it go. This worked for Guy.
A slow death was occurring in our marriage. Our children, two wonderful sons, were the glue that held us together for so many years.
I did pray often for guidance in our marriage…but I’m not sure I waited for or listened for His answer. Learning to trust and submit takes maturity, and God knew I needed time to grow into the person He made me to be. His timing is perfect; even if we don’t understand that fact. There were times I did not feel that God was listening to me or helping me. What I now know is the He was waiting for me to need HIM in my life and no one else.
We were at a real crossroads in our marriage in the year 2000. Our older son had graduated from college and younger son was going off to college. Our glue was gone. We discussed separation. He was going to move out. My emotions vacillated between marriage and separation.
One day I woke up and found I could not stand another indecisive moment. I dropped to my knees by our bed and totally surrendered my will to God. I cried out to Him to help me know what to do. I told Him I could not live with my husband like this, and I could not imagine myself without him. I prayed for guidance and told Him I would not do one more thing unless I felt He was guiding me.
I lay on the floor weeping for quite some time until I felt a total peace come over me. It was strange. It was as if a weight had been lifted and I was not going to have to carry it any more.
Later that day I had to go to Wal-mart for cleaning supplies or something—I don’t even remember. What I do remember is how God talked to me. Yes, He very distinctly led me to the book section and showed me two books that changed my life—The Power of a Praying Wife and Traits of a Lasting Marriage. When I opened up this first book, the prayer I read was:
“Lord, I lay all my expectation at your cross. I release my husband from the burden of fulfilling me in areas where I should be looking to You. Help me to accept him the way he is and not try to change him. I realize that in some ways he may never change, but at the same time, I release him to change in ways I never thought he could. I leave any changing that needs to be done in Your hands, fully accepting that neither of us is perfect and never will be. Only you, Lord, are perfect, and I look to You to perfect us.”
The prayer followed with several Bible verses, Biblically-sound doctrine for restoring me, restoring my marriage. I felt my eyes well up with tears. Could God really be telling me I needed to change and be the person my husband needs? I always thought I was…that he just wasn’t the husband I needed.
Do you know that God can turn a heart from stone back to love in a matter of minutes? He can and He did. I left Wal-mart with a smile on my face and copies of the two books. When I got home I asked my husband if he would consider reading the book with me and trying to let God lead us back together. He agreed—another one of God’s miracles. I am blessed to have a husband who has always been willing to take every effort to make our marriage work. I knew we were going to finally have the marriage God intended for us—one of love, commitment, laughter, friendship, joy.
We still have our differences but they are handled with a very different approach. I first go to God and ask for His guidance in solving a problem; then I approach Guy. My “old” self rears its prideful head occasionally…ok, often. I recognize that God led us back into this marriage, and He will guide us through any rough patches.
Guy is my best friend, my companion, and the sweetest grandfather you can imagine. My cup runneth over, and I give all the glory and praise to my Lord and Savior.
So when in doubt, pain, confusion or despair, get on your knees, call out to God, surrender to His will, then listen. Trust me, He will answer. God is everywhere.
Reflect:
–How are you fighting for your marriage? Please comment.
–What wisdom can you glean from Teresa and Guy’s testimony? Please comment.
Renew:
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.” –Matthew 7:7-8 NIV 1984
“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.” –Ephesians 4:32 NIV 1984
Recharge:
–What three things do you admit need changing in yourself to strengthen your marriage and/or other relationships? Please let your spouse know today. Comment here.
Resource:
Conway, Jim and Sally. 1991. Traits of a Lasting Marriage: What Strong Marriages Have in Common. Downers Grove, Illinois: InterVarsity Press.
Omartian, Stormie. 1997, 2014. Power of a Praying Wife. Eugene, Oregon: Harvest House Publishing.
Danya Jordan
This is so true, in that we tend to want to push our own thoughts and feelings off on our spouses, trying to make our “love language” theirs. It is when we find out what makes them tick that we find out how they want to be treated and loved. Very powerful. Thanks for the great story and testimony. So many out there need to hear it!
Jon
This sounds so much like my husband & I until a few years ago. He’d withdraw & my frustration would build up until finally I’d explode. It was the only way to get him to do things.
Thankfully we have learned to communicate better. I still have my moments but they are happening rarely now & I have learned to ask GOD and my husband for forgiveness instead of thinking that it was his fault…he drove me to it. As we get ready to celebrate our 40th anniversary our marriage is better than it has ever been. Praise GOD for His love and mercy!