May 12, 2015

The Eyes Have It—Looking Up

Recently I have noticed more and more how those of us shopping in stores, standing in check-out lines, and meandering through airports don’t seem to make eye contact much anymore. We all seem to be looking down at our SmartPhones or talking on them.  I am guilty of it also. Pitiful.

This past weekend I was traveling with my wonderful Mom to visit family in Florida. Mom loves to look people in the eye and smile. I observed her making this sweet effort repeatedly. As we made our way through the airport, to our gate, onto the  airplane, then to our seats, she would smile at anyone who made eye contact with her. When we sat down, she made the comment that hardly anyone seems to look up anymore and notice what’s going on around them. Ouch. It’s so true. I’m often one of them.

Also, any military person or police officer in uniform Mom saw who made eye contact with her, she would thank him for his service to our country. What encouragement. I will do that from now on also. Encouragement was given in that brief moment when eye contact was made.

Who might we give encouragement to by making eye contact? Whose encouragement might we be missing by not making eye contact?  Eye contact equals more acts of kindness.

“My eyes will be on the faithful in the land, that they may dwell with me; he whose walk is blameless will minister to me.” –Psalm 101:6 NIV

Years ago a pastor said he was reading an article while his child was trying to talk with him. Finally this child took her Daddy’s face in her hands and said, “Daddy, please listen with your face.” 

May we all be reminded today to “listen with our face,” to look up, make eye contact, and smile. We may give the only eye contact and smile someone receives all day.

Reflect:

How does this message resonate with you?

Do you want to change any habits?

Renew:

“Open my eyes that I may see wonderful things in your law.” –Psalm 119:18 NIV

“Turn my eyes away from worthless things; preserve my life according to Your Word.” –Psalm 119:37 NIV

“The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light.” –Matthew 6:22 NIV

Recharge:

How will you change your habits to look up, “listen with your face,” make eye contact and smile at others?

August 12, 2014

Are You a Ladder or Adder? Post #43

This world is full of choices. I read that the average person makes 1200  choices per day.

Push snooze once more? What to wear? Which shoes? To which radio station do I listen?

Go through the yellow light? Take this leap of faith?

Our attitude is also a huge daily choice we make.

I strive, although imperfectly, for my daily attitude to be positive. Some people may call me a Polyanna, a glass-half-full optimist. I sure strive to be. It comes naturally because my precious mom is a beautiful combination of June Cleaver and Jesus rolled up into one genteel, joyful, encouraging, Southern lady.

My mom once told me that we can choose either to be a ladder or an adder. A ladder is someone who lifts people up, encourages them, and even draws them closer to God. An adder, though, is someone with such a personality, who, like the serpent by the same name, can drain the life out of you. Which are you?

A wonderful example of a ladder I know is Charlie. Charlie Cole is a distinguished, brilliant, handsome man. He retired about five years ago as a dynamic banking executive leader, whose territory covered all of South Carolina. Charlie and his bride of 40+ years, Joanne, go to my church.

In June 2008, Charlie and Joanne returned from a wedding and went upstairs to their bedroom to sleep. In the middle of the night Charlie went to the bathroom and fell down the steps. His fall resulted in paralysis as a quadriplegic, confining him to a wheelchair.

Charlie was immediately airlifted to the Shepherd Center in Atlanta, where he and Joanne stayed for three months. They returned to Charleston to their new life in their old world. They came home to their beautiful Sullivan’s Island home, already equipped with an elevator. For more than two years Joanne and Charlie tried to navigate fragmented healthcare resources for spinal cord injury patients. Imagine needing a specialized urologist or OB/GYN because you are paralyzed. Imagine needing a Physical and Occupational Therapist to relearn leg and arm muscles to one day, perhaps, walk and even feed yourself again.

Charlie had served since 2002 on the board of our Roper St. Francis Foundation,  Charleston’s excellent, not-for-profit healthcare system. At the time, Roper St. Francis offered no specialized rehabilitation for spinal cord injury patients nor did the Medical University of South Carolina (MUSC). Charlie and Joanne brought awareness to the fact that more than 10,000 spinal cord injury patients live in South Carolina and need better specialized healthcare resources for those who are paralyzed.

Working tirelessly with both Roper St. Francis and MUSC physicians and staff, the Center for Spinal Cord Injury at Roper Hospital was established in June 2011, just three years after Charlie’s injury. As of this writing, more than 300 spinal cord injury patients have been served from all of over the state, since the Center for Spinal Cord Injury is the only collaborative resource of its kind in South Carolina.

I have the pleasure of spending time with Charlie and Joanne weekly as we work together to raise at least $1.5M to endow and sustain the Center for Spinal Cord Injury. Charlie inspires me and everyone he meets. Charlie lives his life intentionally as a tall, tall ladder, not an adder, lifting everyone’s spirits. He turned his “test” into a “testimony” and is truly impacting numerous lives because of it. He brightens every room and heart into which he and his wheelchair roll.

Yes, we have a choice–

To be a victim or a victor of our circumstances.

To be bitter or better because of our circumstances.

To be a Polyanna or a Debby Downer.

To be a ladder or an adder.

The choice is yours.

Reflect:

  • Do you consider yourself to be a ladder or adder? Victim or victor? Bitter or better? Please comment.
  • What language do you use to speak to yourself or others? Does it build up or tear down?

Renew:

  • “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” –1 Thessalonians 5:11 NIV84
  •  “But I will sing of Your strength, in the morning I will sing of Your love; for You are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble.” –Psalm 59:16NIV 84

Recharge:

  •  Name one different choice you plan to make this week toward being a ladder. How will you accomplish it?
  • Please let me know what you decide to do.

Resource:

June 10, 2014

Are You Real? Post #34

How real, how authentic would you say you are? Do you find that you act differently around different people? You may have answered yes to that question.  I’m embarrassed to say that my answer was yes.

A well-respected Christian leader said that she wanted to strive to be the same person 24 hours a day, seven days a week, no matter where she is or who she is around. Wow. That statement sets the bar pretty high. That is the standard I pray to reach one day… one day. The journey is long.

Isn’t it so refreshing to be around authentic people?  I feel blessed to surround myself intentionally with authentic friends and mentors. The kind of people who are real, unpretentious, humble, can laugh at themselves, have servant hearts. People who talk the same about you to your face as behind your back. When these people/friends give you feedback, it’s mostly positive and uplifting, and even when it’s needed constructive criticism, it is uttered to your face and not only behind your back.

Have you ever overheard someone speaking positively about you? What a sweet treat. Now, have you overheard someone speaking negatively about you?  How did it make you feel?

Today is a new day. Let’s get real. What does “getting real” mean, you might ask? I heard a mentor say that success is treating our friends like family and our family like friends.  To me, that is what being real, being authentic means.

Reflect:

–Who are some people in your life who are real/authentic? Please comment.

–Who are you when no one is around?

–Who is the REAL, authentic you?

Renew:

–“Therefore, encourage each other and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” –1 Thessalonians 5:11 NIV84

—“Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled. In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us.” –Titus 2:6-9 NIV84

–“With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear gifts? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.” –James 3:9-12 NIV84

 Recharge:

–What will you do be more real? Please comment on some ways to be more real.

–Call an authentic friend/mentor with whom to spend some intentional time this week.

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