How to Handle Life’s Curve Balls

September 29, 2015

How to Handle Life’s Curve Balls

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What do you do when unexpected curve balls in life are thrown your way? Dawn and Chris Carr know how to handle curve balls. They have always been such a precious couple in my life. They met when they were 19 years old at college and were inseparable. We as Dawn’s best friends knew they would marry. They married right after college, in September 1997. They epitomize–then and today– a Christ-centered marriage.

For their whole marriage of 18 years, Chris awakens daily at 6am to have his quiet time and Bible reading, eats breakfast with his family, then he leaves for work. They pray together, laugh together, work hard together, and have fun together as a family. Life often seems so perfect in the calm before the curve ball.

Their curve ball came in 2003, when Dawn was 30 years old. While enjoying their two-year-old son Carson and pregnant with their second child, Dawn was diagnosed with colon cancer. Just typing those words brings tears to my eyes, recalling the shock. How could someone so young have to hear the “C” word, especially Dawn who was pregnant? For that matter, why does anyone need to hear the dreaded “C” word?

A prayerful decision was made to operate. When the growing baby in her womb was five months along, anointed doctors made an incision from her breasts down to her pelvis. The nurses held that baby outside of her body while 13 cancerous inches of her colon were removed. They then gently placed the baby miraculously back into her body. Miracles never cease.

The surgery was not the worst of the battle. Her incision down the front of her body had a difficult time healing because, as the baby grew inside of her, her skin and stitches stretched tautly. Dawn could hardly stand up straight because it hurt too much to stretch her healing incision. Not only could she not stand up straight, she also was not supposed to pick up her beautiful two-year-old son Carson. Her incision healed, and Dawn, in her hilarious humor, calls her scar her “front butt.”

How did we respond as Dawn’s friends? What did we do? We prayed and rallied around her. We showed up. We all came to Charlotte, took Dawn out for a spa day with a manicure/pedicure, then rented a hotel suite to have a slumber party. She was real in telling us all the details. We were real to listen. To cry with her. To laugh with her (although it hurt her incision to laugh, she loved and still loves to laugh). To hug her. To hear her. To let her know we love her and value her and are praying for her.

Dawn, Chris, and Carson came to Charleston to visit and stay with me two months later. By this time she was seven months pregnant. I remember us going to Fort Sumter and Dawn trying to push Carson in his baby stroller, and she couldn’t stand up straight. We heard the ferry boat whistle indicating that we needed to get on the boat. Dawn ran like “ET” with baby stroller while Chris ran ahead with our tickets. We laughed so hard. We had so much fun. Dawn laughed through her pain. She is the life of the party.

Dawn delivered baby Zackary on Mother’s Day 2004, the miracle boy. We say he was “born again” on the day he was birthed. Dawn began chemo two weeks after he was born and couldn’t breast feed. Both Zackary and big brother Carson have hearts of gold. They are good boys, good students, are good role models. I love them as I would my own children.

Dawn and Chris go on date nights often, and go on “Celebration of Life” cruises each year on the anniversary of her cancer surgery. They just enjoyed their 2015 cruise last month. They savor every moment. Dawn and Chris are such an inspiration, and their marriage is one of dying to self and living for God, each other, their two sons and others. Those are the keys, my friends, to handling life’s curve balls.

Happy 18th Anniversary, Dawn and Chris!

Christian Broadcasting Network’s “700 Club” featured Dawn and Chris’s story in December 2012. Enjoy their poignant feature video clip now by clicking on the link below.

The 700 Club–Baby Born Again, featuring Dawn, Chris and Zackary

Reflect:

–Why does it seem sometimes that bad things happen to us? Please comment.

Renew with One of Dawn’s favorite verses:

–“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” –Joshua 1:9

–“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13

Recharge:

–What can you learn from the testimony Dawn, Chris, Carson and Zackary? Please comment.

Resource:

— http://www.cbn.com/700club/features/amazing/Carrs121206.asp

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July 21, 2015

Are You For Real?

It is so refreshing to be around authentic people. How real, how authentic would you say you are? Do you find that you act differently around different people? You may have answered yes to that question. I’m embarrassed to say that my answer was yes.

A well-respected Christian leader said that she wanted to strive to be the same person 24 hours a day, seven days a week, no matter where she is or who she is around. Wow. That statement sets the bar pretty high. That is the standard I pray to reach one day… one day. The journey is long.

I feel blessed to surround myself intentionally with authentic friends and mentors. You know–those people who are unpretentious, humble, can laugh at themselves, have servant hearts. People who talk the same about you to your face as behind your back. When these people/friends give you feedback, it’s mostly positive and uplifting, and even when it’s needed constructive criticism, it is uttered to your face and not only behind your back.

Have you ever overheard someone speaking positively about you? What a sweet treat. Now, have you overheard someone speaking negatively about you? How did it make you feel?

Today is a new day. Let’s get real. What does “getting real” mean, you might ask? I heard a mentor say that success is treating our friends like family and our family like friends. To me, that is what being real, being authentic means.

Reflect:

–Who are some people in your life who are real/authentic? Please comment.

–Who are you when no one is around?

–Who is the REAL, authentic you?

Renew:

–“Therefore, encourage each other and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” –1 Thessalonians 5:11 NIV

—“Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled. In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us.” –Titus 2:6-9 NIV

–“With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear gifts? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.“ –James 3:9-12 NIV

Recharge:

–What will you do be more real? Please comment on some ways to be more real.

–Call an authentic friend/mentor with whom to spend some intentional time this week.

May 12, 2015

The Eyes Have It—Looking Up

Recently I have noticed more and more how those of us shopping in stores, standing in check-out lines, and meandering through airports don’t seem to make eye contact much anymore. We all seem to be looking down at our SmartPhones or talking on them. I am guilty of it also. Pitiful.

This past weekend I was traveling with my wonderful Mom to visit family in Florida. Mom loves to look people in the eye and smile. I observed her making this sweet effort repeatedly. As we made our way through the airport, to our gate, onto the airplane, then to our seats, she would smile at anyone who made eye contact with her. When we sat down, she made the comment that hardly anyone seems to look up anymore and notice what’s going on around them. Ouch. It’s so true. I’m often one of them.

Also, any military person or police officer in uniform Mom saw who made eye contact with her, she would thank him for his service to our country. What encouragement. I will do that from now on also. Encouragement was given in that brief moment when eye contact was made.

Who might we give encouragement to by making eye contact? Whose encouragement might we be missing by not making eye contact? Eye contact equals more acts of kindness.

“My eyes will be on the faithful in the land, that they may dwell with me; he whose walk is blameless will minister to me.” –Psalm 101:6 NIV

Years ago a pastor said he was reading an article while his child was trying to talk with him. Finally this child took her Daddy’s face in her hands and said, “Daddy, please listen with your face.”

May we all be reminded today to “listen with our face,” to look up, make eye contact, and smile. We may give the only eye contact and smile someone receives all day.

Reflect:

How does this message resonate with you?

Do you want to change any habits?

Renew:

“Open my eyes that I may see wonderful things in your law.” –Psalm 119:18 NIV

“Turn my eyes away from worthless things; preserve my life according to Your Word.” –Psalm 119:37 NIV

“The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light.” –Matthew 6:22 NIV

Recharge:

How will you change your habits to look up, “listen with your face,” make eye contact and smile at others?