Are You Real? Post #34

June 10, 2014

Are You Real? Post #34

How real, how authentic would you say you are? Do you find that you act differently around different people? You may have answered yes to that question. I’m embarrassed to say that my answer was yes.

A well-respected Christian leader said that she wanted to strive to be the same person 24 hours a day, seven days a week, no matter where she is or who she is around. Wow. That statement sets the bar pretty high. That is the standard I pray to reach one day… one day. The journey is long.

Isn’t it so refreshing to be around authentic people? I feel blessed to surround myself intentionally with authentic friends and mentors. The kind of people who are real, unpretentious, humble, can laugh at themselves, have servant hearts. People who talk the same about you to your face as behind your back. When these people/friends give you feedback, it’s mostly positive and uplifting, and even when it’s needed constructive criticism, it is uttered to your face and not only behind your back.

Have you ever overheard someone speaking positively about you? What a sweet treat. Now, have you overheard someone speaking negatively about you? How did it make you feel?

Today is a new day. Let’s get real. What does “getting real” mean, you might ask? I heard a mentor say that success is treating our friends like family and our family like friends. To me, that is what being real, being authentic means.

Reflect:

–Who are some people in your life who are real/authentic? Please comment.

–Who are you when no one is around?

–Who is the REAL, authentic you?

Renew:

–“Therefore, encourage each other and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” –1 Thessalonians 5:11 NIV84

—“Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled. In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us.” –Titus 2:6-9 NIV84

–“With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear gifts? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.” –James 3:9-12 NIV84

Recharge:

–What will you do be more real? Please comment on some ways to be more real.

–Call an authentic friend/mentor with whom to spend some intentional time this week.

May 6, 2014

Thank You, Mom, Post #29

With just five days before Mother’s Day, let’s ponder our moms for a bit. What are you planning to do honor your Mom?

This Mother’s Day, let’s try something different. Let’s try to write at least 30 memories or characteristics you’re grateful for with your Mom. Then write or type them, cut them into slips of paper, and give to her for Mother’s Day in a little box. She can enjoy reading a month of encouragement over and over, one for each day. This is what I plan to do for my Mom (shhhh, please don’t tell her). This blog or a box simply cannot contain my gratitude. The following are the first 11 Mom gratitude memories:

1) Thank you for praying for me for years before I was even conceived. Since my only brother Jamie is 12 years older than me, you said you suffered miscarriages and complications as you and Dad tried for more children after Jamie. You were about to give up when you found out you were pregnant with me. Thanks be to God for His plan and His timing. Thank you for being my Mom.

2) Thank you for serving as a room mother in elementary school and chaperoning our field trips.

3) Thank you for dancing and for teaching me to dance. I always loved watching you and your brothers, your family shag dancing to beach music at my grandmother’s home growing up. I remember after Thanksgiving meals that the men would push aside the dinner table to create a large dance floor, perfect for dancing and making a “Soul Train” line. We had so much fun. Watching you dance is a joy.

4) Thank you for displaying the Fruit of the Spirit each day and showing me Jesus’ unconditional love through you. “But the fruit of the Spirit IS (that means all one fruit) love, joy, peace, patience kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” –Galatians 5:22-23 NIV84

5) Thank you for teaching me that if three or more cars are in line at a fast-food restaurant, it’s faster to go inside to order your food. I don’t eat fast food much, but I still abide by this.

6) Thank you for attending all my home and away basketball and volleyball games in high school. Sometimes you and Dad were two of a few parents.

7) Thank you for the example of your well-read, well-worn Bible that shows to me and to anyone how “Thy Word is a lamp unto your feet and a light unto your path.” Psalm 119:105. If we may be the only Bible someone may ever read, you radiate the Word. “The Word became flesh and made His dwelling among us.” John 1:14a NIV84

8) Thank you for making me have a curfew, even though I didn’t appreciate it at the time. I so respect the healthy rules and boundaries you set for me growing up. You set them with love.

9) Thank you for teaching me the love of flowers and God’s majesty. I appreciate that you asked me growing up to “dead-head” our 100+ roses each day after school in our garden. I will always remember the wonderful fragrance of roses in every room of our home growing up–what a gift.

10) Thank you for letting me go away to college out of state to Appalachian State University. I know it was a sacrifice for our family to pay the higher tuition. I appreciate the investment and pray you know in my heart it was worth every penny.

11) Thank you for giving me the grace and freedom and wide open space to fail and succeed, knowing you would love me unconditionally. You are the best cheerleader and encourager I know.

Do you struggle with this upcoming holiday? Some have beloved Moms who are in heaven. Some struggle with their relationship with their Mom. If either is the case, my hearts hurts as yours does. I encourage you to seek out an older lady in your life who can or currently serves as a mentor to you. Please consider honoring her for Mother’s Day. Some Moms are blood-related. Others are related by the blood of Jesus.

Reflect:

–How do you plan to honor your Mom for Mother’s Day? Please comment.

Renew:

–“Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.” –Exodus 20:12 NIV84

–“Standing near the cross were Jesus’ mother, and his mother’s sister, Mary (the wife of Clopus), and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus saw His mother standing there beside the disciple he loved, he said to her, ‘Dear woman, here is your son.’ And he said to this disciple, ‘Here is your mother.’ And from then on this disciple took her into his home.” –John 19-25-27 NLT

Recharge:

–Which mentor lady in your life will you show appreciation for?

—“All I am I owe to my Mother.” –Abraham Lincoln

April 1, 2014

Supergluing and Healing a Broken Marriage, Post #22

By Guest Blogger Teresa Tarrant

Editor’s Note: Please welcome one of my precious role models, Teresa Tarrant, to “Pure Inspiration” as the first Guest Blogger. She is an inspiration to me and infinite others. May her story, their story, touch your heart as it did mine.

God is everywhere.

I have known this since I was a little girl in Sunday School, as a college student in chapel, as a wife at church, and as a mother reading Bible stories to my children. What I didn’t realize was…it is so wonderfully and lovingly true.

It became an undeniable fact and reality for me in the year 2000, the year the world was going to come to an end, all the computers were predicted to crash and my marriage was in crisis. My husband Guy and I had been married at that time for 28 years…by the grace of God. We went through every stage of marriage in some form of heightened emotion…riding the waves of “good times” and “bad times.” It was more difficult for my husband to do this because he does not like “heightened emotion.”

I, on the hand, did not know much else. I knew I did not like this state of being. At the same time, it was the only way I got any “real” response from my husband. Through the years a pattern developed. My husband would resort to withdrawing when confrontation ensued…I would go at it with all I had to find some closure to a problem. I would finally get quiet and sad and eventually just let it go. This worked for Guy.

A slow death was occurring in our marriage. Our children, two wonderful sons, were the glue that held us together for so many years.

I did pray often for guidance in our marriage…but I’m not sure I waited for or listened for His answer. Learning to trust and submit takes maturity, and God knew I needed time to grow into the person He made me to be. His timing is perfect; even if we don’t understand that fact. There were times I did not feel that God was listening to me or helping me. What I now know is the He was waiting for me to need HIM in my life and no one else.

We were at a real crossroads in our marriage in the year 2000. Our older son had graduated from college and younger son was going off to college. Our glue was gone. We discussed separation. He was going to move out. My emotions vacillated between marriage and separation.

One day I woke up and found I could not stand another indecisive moment. I dropped to my knees by our bed and totally surrendered my will to God. I cried out to Him to help me know what to do. I told Him I could not live with my husband like this, and I could not imagine myself without him. I prayed for guidance and told Him I would not do one more thing unless I felt He was guiding me.

I lay on the floor weeping for quite some time until I felt a total peace come over me. It was strange. It was as if a weight had been lifted and I was not going to have to carry it any more.

Later that day I had to go to Wal-mart for cleaning supplies or something—I don’t even remember. What I do remember is how God talked to me. Yes, He very distinctly led me to the book section and showed me two books that changed my life—The Power of a Praying Wife and Traits of a Lasting Marriage. When I opened up this first book, the prayer I read was:

“Lord, I lay all my expectation at your cross. I release my husband from the burden of fulfilling me in areas where I should be looking to You. Help me to accept him the way he is and not try to change him. I realize that in some ways he may never change, but at the same time, I release him to change in ways I never thought he could. I leave any changing that needs to be done in Your hands, fully accepting that neither of us is perfect and never will be. Only you, Lord, are perfect, and I look to You to perfect us.”

The prayer followed with several Bible verses, Biblically-sound doctrine for restoring me, restoring my marriage. I felt my eyes well up with tears. Could God really be telling me I needed to change and be the person my husband needs? I always thought I was…that he just wasn’t the husband I needed.

Do you know that God can turn a heart from stone back to love in a matter of minutes? He can and He did. I left Wal-mart with a smile on my face and copies of the two books. When I got home I asked my husband if he would consider reading the book with me and trying to let God lead us back together. He agreed—another one of God’s miracles. I am blessed to have a husband who has always been willing to take every effort to make our marriage work. I knew we were going to finally have the marriage God intended for us—one of love, commitment, laughter, friendship, joy.

We still have our differences but they are handled with a very different approach. I first go to God and ask for His guidance in solving a problem; then I approach Guy. My “old” self rears its prideful head occasionally…ok, often. I recognize that God led us back into this marriage, and He will guide us through any rough patches.

Guy is my best friend, my companion, and the sweetest grandfather you can imagine. My cup runneth over, and I give all the glory and praise to my Lord and Savior.

So when in doubt, pain, confusion or despair, get on your knees, call out to God, surrender to His will, then listen. Trust me, He will answer. God is everywhere.

Reflect:

–How are you fighting for your marriage? Please comment.

–What wisdom can you glean from Teresa and Guy’s testimony? Please comment.

Renew:

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.” –Matthew 7:7-8 NIV 1984

“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.” –Ephesians 4:32 NIV 1984

Recharge:

–What three things do you admit need changing in yourself to strengthen your marriage and/or other relationships? Please let your spouse know today. Comment here.

Resource:

Conway, Jim and Sally. 1991. Traits of a Lasting Marriage: What Strong Marriages Have in Common. Downers Grove, Illinois: InterVarsity Press.

Omartian, Stormie. 1997, 2014. Power of a Praying Wife. Eugene, Oregon: Harvest House Publishing.