Vignettes of Love–Part 2: Dawn,Chris,Carson and Zackary, Post #15

February 11, 2014

Vignettes of Love–Part 2: Dawn,Chris,Carson and Zackary, Post #15

What do you do when life throws you a curve ball? Dawn and Chris know how to handle curve balls. They have always been such a precious couple in my life. They met when they were 19 years old at college and were inseparable. We as Dawn’s best college friends knew they would marry. They married right after college, in 1995. They epitomize–back then and today– a Christ-centered marriage.

For almost 20 years, their whole marriage, Chris has awakened daily at 6am to have his quiet time and Bible reading, and eats breakfast with his family, then he leaves for work. They pray together, laugh together, work hard together, and have fun together as a family. Life often seems so perfect in the calm before the curve ball.

Their curve ball came in 2003, when Dawn was 30 years old. While enjoying their two-year-old son Carson and pregnant with their second child, Dawn was diagnosed with colon cancer… Just typing those words brings tears to my eyes, recalling the shock. How could someone our age have colon cancer, especially Dawn who was pregnant?

A prayerful decision was made to operate. When the growing baby in her womb was five months along, anointed doctors made an incision from her breasts down to her pelvis. The nurses held that baby outside of her body while 13 cancerous inches of her colon was removed, then gently placed the baby miraculously back into her body. Miracles never cease.

The surgery was not the worst of the battle. Her incision down the front of her body had a difficult time healing because, as the baby grew inside of her, her skin and stitches stretched tautly. Dawn could hardly stand up straight because it hurt too much to stretch her healing incision. Not only could she not stand up straight, she also was not supposed to pick up her beautiful two-year-old son Carson.

“These are the times that try men’s souls,” echoed in my heart from A Tale of Two Cities.

How did we respond as Dawn’s friends? What did we do? We prayed and rallied around her. We all came to Charlotte, took Dawn out for a spa day with a manicure/pedicure, then rented a hotel suite to have a slumber party. She was real in telling us all the details. We were real to listen. To cry with her. To laugh with her (although it hurt to laugh, she loves to laugh). To hug her. To hear her. To let her know we love her and value her.

Dawn, Chris, and Carson came to Charleston to visit and stay with me two months later. By this time she was seven months pregnant. I remember us going to Fort Sumter and Dawn trying to push Carson in his baby stroller, and she couldn’t stand up straight. We heard the ferry boat whistle indicating that we needed to get on the boat. Dawn ran like “ET” with baby stroller while Chris ran ahead with our tickets. We laughed so hard. We had so much fun. Dawn laughed through her pain. Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion.

Dawn delivered baby Zackary on Mother’s Day 2004, the miracle boy. We say he was “born again” on the day he was birthed. Dawn began chemo two weeks after he was born and couldn’t breast feed. Both Zackary and big brother Carson have hearts of gold. They are good boys, good students, are good role models. I love them as I would my own children.

Dawn and Chris go on date nights often, and go on “Celebration of Life” cruises each year on the anniversary of her cancer surgery. They savor every moment. Dawn and Chris are such an inspiration, and their marriage is one of dying to self and living for God, each other, their two sons and others–even when life throws you curve balls.

Christian Broadcasting Network’s “700 Club” featured Dawn and Chris’s story in December 2012. Enjoy their poignant feature video clip now by clicking on the link below.

The 700 Club–Baby Born Again, featuring Dawn, Chris and Zackary

Reflect:

–Why does it seem sometimes that bad things happen to us? To draw us closer to God?

–Please comment below.

Renew with One of Dawn’s favorite verses:

–“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” –Joshua 1:9

Recharge:

–What can you learn from Dawn, Chris, Carson and Zackary?

Resource:

— http://www.cbn.com/700club/features/amazing/Carrs121206.aspx

February 4, 2014

Vignettes of Love–Part 1: Jim and Jeanette, Post #14

For the month of February, it is on my heart each Transformational Tuesday to share different snapshots of precious, unconditional love, like God’s love. Please let me know what you think and how you feel afterward. ..

Although they lived several states away from each other, God planned their 1984 meeting in a Washington, DC hotel lobby. She had just had lunch with President Ronald Reagan and Vice President George H.W. Bush. He was attending a Mensa (the High IQ Society) convention. The attraction was instant. Their conversation flowed easily. Their mutual deep faith dominated all other similar character traits. Without hesitation, they knew they had a love connection and would see each other again. The telephone lines between Michigan and South Carolina began to sing.

Jim and Jeanette married within the year, a blended family of six adult children. He moved to Charleston, where she lived. Jeanette served as a Charleston County magistrate; Jim owned a construction company.

We belong to the same church, so I witnessed their deep love for each other. I noticed the way they gazed at each other so deeply and adoringly. The way he still opened the car and other doors for her after all these years of marriage. The way he still pulled out her chair. The way he walked beside her on the sidewalk, closest to the street. Watching them I knew, I know, love, chivalry and romance are alive and well. They both served the church as elders and deacons and as leaders in Presbyterian Pilgrimage, a wonderful faith-renewal weekend experience.

Fourteen years ago Jeanette was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease. Jim didn’t skip a beat. Jeanette retired as a judge in 2007, and Jim retired early from his construction business to take care of his beloved. I was amazed yet not surprised when I found out in 2011 that Jim and Jeanette had published a collection of her stories in Notes From A Reluctant Magistrate.

In October 2013 Jim was diagnosed with leukemia. His first thought was not about himself but about Jeanette and how she would be cared for as he took chemotherapy. His regimen was intense, staying seven straight weeks in Roper Hospital. They made the decision to have her stay in the Presbyterian Home in Summerville. With their son Tim visiting her with an IPad and Jim having his, they were able to Facetime, which was bittersweet for both. As soon as Jim would receive a clean bill of health, he would go home and prepare to pick up Jeanette from the Presbyterian Home. He would hardly take any time to build his strength back…

The story continues…today Jim is back in the hospital with one more ten-day round of chemo. He is scheduled for a bone marrow transplant from his brother in March. Jeanette is being well taken care of in the Presbyterian Home, and they talk as often as they can. Jim’s faith is strong, and he believes he will be healed. Both Jim and Jeanette’s gentle determination is an inspiration to all those around this couple. Keep praying. I believe in miracles, do you?

The Love Chapter from 1 Corinthians 13 epitomizes Jim and Jeanette’s sweet love. “[Love] always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” (1 Corinthians 13:7-8 NIV 1984).

Reflect:

–How does your marriage or relationship show unconditional love?

–What can you glean from Jim and Jeanette’s marriage? Please comment below.

–Do you believe in miracles? Name a miracle(s) in your life.

Renew:

— Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself….Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband (Ephesians 5:21-33 NIV 1984).

Recharge:

–What will you do differently to love sacrificially in your marriage or relationship? Please comment below.

Resource:

–Buy a copy of Jeanette’s book: http://www.amazon.com/Reluctant-Magistrate-Jeanette-Mullen-Harper/dp/1463560540

–Prayerfully consider attending a Presbyterian Pilgrimage weekend. http://www.scpresbyterianpilgrimage.org/

January 14, 2014

You’ve Got a Friend, Post #11

Who would you say are your true friends? Who do you go to when you want to laugh, to cry, to celebrate, to confess, to be encouraged, to be your mirror? Who calls you a true friend?

One of my most cherished blessings in life are my wonderful, deep friendships, friends from different phases of my life. I still keep in touch with friends from high school, college, after college, work friends, church friends, and friends met recently through Bible Study Fellowship.

A mantra that has resonated with me since childhood is “To have a friend, you must be one.” All these years, I have tried to be a friend but made mistakes when I wasn’t intentional to strengthen my friendships. Friendships are essential to a healthy life and for growth. It seems the truest friendships are easy, are refreshing, not draining.

Three different groups of dear friends stand out for me to describe for you. One is a group of 10 beautiful friends from college. All 10 ladies live throughout North and South Carolina, are all married to great men, and have 22 children among the 10 of them. For the last 19 years, we have intentionally set aside the last weekend in April to rent a beach house in Charleston and spend time together, while their sweet husbands keep the children back home. We laugh, eat, tell stories, encourage each other, dance, sing, cry through difficult times. I learn so much from them. Their influence makes me a better person.

The second group of my friends all met at a church retreat years ago. These six dynamic women are like big sisters who live throughout the Carolinas and Virginia. They are in their 50s or older, have great husbands and adult children. Like the first group, we are intentional about getting together at least once per year for a weekend together. This past weekend, we all were together in the North Carolina mountains. As it poured rain outside, we didn’t care. We laughed, ate, told stories, encouraged each other, danced, sang, cried telling about difficult times. What a glorious weekend! I learned and learn so much from them. Their influence makes me a better person.

Yesterday I bid farewell to a dear friend who serves our country in the Air Force and is moving to Macon, Georgia. She is part of a group of new, precious Godly friends I met through Bible Study Fellowship. She has such a sweet, soft spoken voice and gentle spirit, which I know I need more of. God’s love radiates from her. I know distance will not separate our friendship, just as distance hasn’t with the others. I learn so much from her, from this group of friends. Her influence, their influence makes me a better person. Do you see a pattern?

I encourage you to evaluate your friendships and be intentional about strengthening– fertilizing–those friendships. Look in the mirror, my friend. You are a friend, and remember–you’ve got a friend. In fact, you’ve got many friends, friends who can be your mirror and show you the real you. You are blessed.

Reflect:

–Describe a true friend in the comments below. What do you love about them?

–How can you be more intentional about strengthening your truest friendships?

Renew:

-“…He who refreshes others will himself be refreshed.” –Proverbs 11:25

–“Greater love has no one that this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” —John 15:13

Recharge:

–Pick up the phone and set up a time to rekindle a friendship.

–Pick a weekend in 2014 and call a few of your friends to have a refreshing retreat.

Resource:

–Find a Bible Study Fellowship class near you at www.bsfinternational.org

PS. Today is also a great day to print out my “Creating Your Personal Mission Statement Template,” which is free by simply adding your email address and subscribing to my weekly blog. My personal mission statement is “Shine,” based on Matthew 5;16.