Intro to the New Treasure Talk Series: How I Bought My First Home On a Budget Before 30 Years Old 

I didn’t think my budgeting stories were worth telling. Many thanks to Taylor, a 20-year-old leader on our Blessings Brokers team, who told me my financial testimony, resources and wisdom need to be told. So begins the first of hopefully many “Treasure Talks” that can help others grow your resources and help your dreams become a reality.

 I wasn’t born from a family with money. My parents both grew up on different tobacco farms near Myrtle Beach, SC. Mom is one of eight children. They didn’t have an indoor bathroom until after she was out of the house and married my Dad at 18 years. She told me that growing up they had “three bedrooms and a path to the outhouse.” 

My Dad worked for 33 years as a Delta Airlines jet mechanic. He wore a uniform and worked shift work. Before I was born my parents bought a modest ranch-style home. We lived there until I went to college. We lived simply and had just enough.

My Mom and Dad taught me to tithe at least 10 percent to the church first from my allowance. He said when I got paid a real salary to always tithe from the gross amount, not after taxes because it’s all God’s. We are simply the stewards and can’t outgive God. I followed their advice and still do. 

Dad also paid our bills as soon as they arrived in the mail.  He taught me to be thankful for the bills when they arrived because it meant we had a roof over our heads, electricity, and clean water. 

 I was the first in my immediate family to attend a four-year college. I’m so grateful my Dad scraped enough funds to pay my tuition and didn’t have to pay student loans. 

When I graduated from college I applied for well over 50 jobs and didn’t get one of them. I moved back home after graduation feeling so defeated. I had completed three different unpaid internships and worked a 20 hour a week job during college to earn extra money. I was ready to work full time. 

None of the employers were calling me back. Two weeks after graduation I began calling the employers I sent resumes to inquiring if I may interview. One kind employer told me he had had hired internally and encouraged me to apply for work through a Temporary Service like Kelly Services. He said it would be full-time work, and it could lead to a permanent position once I prove myself in the job. I followed his wisdom and was placed through Kelly Services at a non-profit private school called Porter-Gaud School that next week in the Donor Development Department.  

Months later it led to a full-time position as the Donor Development Office Manager. It was great experience, as they were launching into a $5.5 million Capital Campaign. I was grossing $20,000 a year, which I thought was GREAT at the time. I was 22 years old. The Business Manager encouraged me to contribute the maximum toward the 401K 6% retirement match, which is tax-free donations from my salary. I told him I thought I didn’t make enough money and that I was too young to contribute to retirement. He gave me some advice I’ll always remember:

“It’s not how much you make, it’s what you do with it.”

He then told me about compound interest and how quickly cash adds up when we contribute even a little bit each month to our 401K retirement. It does add up quickly.

Porter-Gaud School also paid for my Masters degree in Public Administration, which I’ll always be grateful for. I worked full-time and attended classes at night for two years.

I worked there five years, got my first apartment and realized how much each month it costs, and I wanted that money to go toward equity in a house.  

A Buyer’s Agent helped me buy my first home for $115,500, at 29 years old on a non-profit salary, while still tithing 10% and paying my own down payment. In the next Treasure Talk, I’ll give you six tips I learned and still by to help you buy your home, invest more in real estate and make your dreams come true. 

With this Treasure Talk and others, remember it’s not how much you make, it’s what you do with it. I pray and believe you will continue to thrive and give back.

Reflect: 

What are my dreams if money weren’t an issue?

Where can I shave expenses to help make these dreams a reality?

Recharge: 

“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” –Matthew 6:21 

 

Loving Our Neighbors–Part 3 Final Lessons of Bedbugs, Pawn Shops and Addictions

Happy New 2021! Does it feel like this year has been long already?  With all that’s going on in our country, I pray this message provides encouragement and helps us all re-focus. Normally I kick the new year off with a new, happy series of messages. I will do that after I finish this one last, heart-rending message of lessons learned from loving our neighbors– my journey with my alcoholic cousin Mark.

In Part 2 on December 29th I described last Christmas with Mark and finally moving him to his wonderful Assisted Living Facility on January 17th. I wish I could say that he loved it there, since it was luxurious compared to the dilapidated crack house where he had lived prior to October 2019. Mark seemed grateful and tried to make friends. He complained about the food and didn’t like that he couldn’t leave the facility to ride wherever he wanted.

 

Mark continued to experience complications from his cirrhosis of the liver. In February 2020 he was rushed to the emergency room from East Towne Manor, where he remained in the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) for two weeks, then was moved to a regular hospital room. My aunt Nancy and I visited Mark in the hospital on March 16th, right before the COVID-19 quarantine began the next day.

Mark was in the hospital so long he became weak in his legs and was released to a physical rehabilitation hospital for two more weeks. The physical therapists were excellent to help strengthen his legs. I spoke with him several times while he was there. I sent him an Easter care package there with a card and chocolate. It was his first Easter as a Christian.

I remember Mark calling me on Good Friday, April 10th. It brings tears to my eyes to reflect on his voice and his words after I said Hello. Mark said, “Hi, Danya. I know today is a big day as a Christian. Do I say ‘Happy Good Friday?'” We talked about how somber the day was, but how the best and brightest day–my favorite day of each year–Jesus’ Resurrection Sunday was coming.

The next week Mark was released back to East Towne Manor. Because of COVID-19 restrictions, I still was unable to see him in person and hug him. Ten days later Mark was rushed back to the emergency room because of his high ammonia levels and the end stages of cirrhosis.

Then the call came. On Friday, May 1st the Hospice Nurse called me as Mark’s Healthcare Power of Attorney to give permission to move Mark to hospice. My hands shook as I printed the hospice approval papers she emailed me, scanned and returned them.

The Hospice nurses were so sweet each time I called, multiple times a day. On Sunday, May 3rd they said I could come visit him at Carolina Medical Center’s Harris Hospice Unit. I left immediately after church to visit Mark. I drove into the eerily empty hospital parking lot.

Wearing my mask I walked into the only entrance open to the hospital. They gave  me a forehead temperature check, then a nurse escorted me to the Hospice Unit. The hallowed halls were echoing from lack of people and movement. It was such a weird feeling to be there. It was almost like walking in a mausoleum.

They walked me to Mark’s hospice room and had me put on a haz-mat suit and gloves. Mark looked so pitiful. Tears sprung to my eyes. I spoke to Mark, telling him I loved him and how proud I was of him. He couldn’t open his eyes but he tried to move his mouth as if he was responding.  He heard me.

Medical experts have said the last sense to go is hearing. Friends, please keep telling your loved ones you love them, even when you don’t think they can hear you. They can.

I held Mark’s hand with my purple latex-gloved hands. I began softly serenading him with “Amazing Grace” and his favorite hymn “In the Garden.” He moved his mouth and looked to smile. He heard.

I hugged him, wept, told him again how much I loved him and how I thanked God for entrusting me with Mark’s care. I told him much Jesus loved him. I  said good-bye and left in tears. The nurses were lined down the hall sweetly, and I thanked them.

Close to the double doors of the Hospice Unit was the chapel. I was drawn in. I fell to my knees, weeping with mixed emotions. Weariness, gratitude, love for the Lord and Mark and mere frustration with how hard parts of the journey had been. I wasn’t ready to say goodbye to Mark.

The next day, Monday, May 4th, I received the call that Mark had gone to be with Jesus. Right after the calls began coming to me about cremation, eye donation. Tough calls and decisions were made.  The Liver specialist after his diagnosis had given him six months. Mark lived 6 1/2 months.  He fought the good fight.

Back in October when Mark came back into my life he confessed he had no savings account, no 401K retirement, no car, no home, no life insurance. He came with little and only wanted love and forgiveness. At the end Mark had enough to pay his bills and had $200 left over.

I remember hearing the story of a pastor Denny Bellesi in California who gave out 100 $100 cash bills in his church as a Kingdom Assignment to live out Matthew 25’s Parable of the Talents. Each family had 60 days to pay the $100 forward to God’s Kingdom and tell the church how they had spent the money. That amazing assignment went viral, made international news AND became a book.

I was so inspired I took 10 $20 cash bills and sent a Kingdom Assignment letter to my family members in memory of Mark. I wanted to honor him and his renewed life. I couldn’t wait to hear how they paid it forward to carry on Mark’s legacy. It was beautiful to witness.

My favorite story was from my uncle Mike in Texas. He texted me that he gave the $20 to an up and coming church in Dallas. He said the pastor teared up when he read the letter and said he would tell his whole congregation to do the same. I bawled like a baby when I read this good news text. Mark finished strong. He finished strong.

As we held my cousin Mark Kelly Sellers’ Memorial Service at his Mom’s Mausoleum Chapel in July 2020, my church Senior Adult Pastor Ron  gave a homily, and a sweet group assembled to honor Mark’s life. Mark’s AA sponsor came, his Bible Study Group Leader Don came, who also played “Taps” by trumpet at the end. Mom and I later that weekend spread Mark’s ashes off the Blue Ridge Parkway since he had been born in the NC mountains. He was finally free.

What lessons did I learn as I/ we love our neighbors and loved Mark?

  1. Please keep unconditionally loving your neighbors and telling them about Jesus. Mark accepted Jesus as Lord and Savior at 67 years old on October 27, 2019 and had been an atheist.
  2. Honor and respect everyone, even when and especially they have differing viewpoints than you. All lives matter.
  3. Medical teams, especially doctors and nurses, deserve medals of honor.
  4. Memorial Services and funerals are not for the one who passed away; they are needed for closure for the loved ones left behind and to celebrate life.
  5. Do your best to help your “neighbors” and loved ones finish strong and carry on their legacy as best you can.
  6. Honor healthy boundaries and remember addiction is messy.
  7. Encourage addicts to attend Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous. They work miracles.
  8. Give yourself grace and remember that each day is an opportunity to begin again.

Reflect:

” Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” –2 Corinthians 5:17 ESV

Recharge:

Alcoholics Anonymous. Find a chapter near you. https://aa.org/

Kingdom Assignment Interview with Pastor Denny and Leesa Bellesi.  How will you multiply your Kingdom Assignment?

 

 

Happy New 2021! Resolution Revolt

As I slow down this night before a welcomed new 2021, I admit to you I don’t have my list down of New Year’s resolutions.

Each year I feel the pressure of forming New Year’s Resolutions. Why are resolutions so hard to keep?

According to research published in the Journal of Clinical Psychology, 36 percent of resolution-makers give up by the end of January. Ouch. Let’s revolt. How can this year be different?

Instead of forming resolutions, I want to form life revelations. What’s the difference?

A revelation comes from God. A resolution comes straight from us. No wonder my resolutions often fail because they come from my flesh, not necessarily from listening to God.

Webster’s defines revelation as “a :  an act of revealing or communicating divine truth b :  something that is revealed by God to humans.”

Let’s start a revolution for the new year.

The minor prophet Habakkuk was in tuned to listening to God. How can we relate Habakkuk with our New Year’s revelations today.   Our resolutions turn to revelations.

In Habakkuk 1 he cried out to God. I love his authenticity, his raw emotion with the Lord.

“’How long, O Lord, must I call for help, but you do not listen?…Why do you make me look at injustice? Why do you tolerate wrong?’”

The Lord listens and answers Habakkuk with a wonderful response.

“Look at the nations and watch—and be utterly amazed. For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, even if you were told.”

Habakkuk continues to complain and ends it with a declaration:

“I will stand at my watch and station myself on the ramparts; I will look to see what he will say to me, and what answer I am to give to this complaint. “ Habakkuk 2:1

‘Then the Lord replied: ‘Write down the revelation and make it plain on tablets so that a herald may run with it. For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay. Habakkuk 2:2

That’s one of my favorite leadership verses in the Bible.

The main revelation revolution lessons we can learn from Habakkuk are to:

1)Humble ourselves, pray and cry out to God. Even it seemed like complaining, Habakkuk was totally real when he told God exactly how he felt and asked God questions. God has big shoulders and can handle our big problems, our dreams, our desires. God listens and answers in His way, in His timing.

2) Strategize and write your revelation and plans on paper. Make them succinct enough that you (or anyone else) can understand them. I would encourage you to post them in your home so that you can refer to them often.

3) Be patient, work, and wait as God continues to work in your life on you and making your revelations come to fruition. God’s timing is perfect. He is never too early and never too late.

May Habakkuk’s story inspire us to start a revolution of New Year’s Revelations.

Happy, Shiny New 2021, friend. The best is yet to come.

Reflect:

What revelation is God revealing to you?